Good By ’08 Part 3a of 3

 

“Oh my god it smells like Moldy Dog Piss.”

 

 Now I knew that our tenant at our rental house, who by the way was a dear friend of ours, who watched Tuesday when we had to work sometimes, who is a manager of a chain of Regis salons whose name starts with.. (I am suing her I cannot state her name.) Had a dog but I thought that the ¼ acre of back yard would suffice for a dog toilet. But what do I know the living room corner is the chosen place for dogs evidently.

“My mom cannot live in these conditions” She told me.

 

No Sh#$, nobody can, it was a dump. The dog piss was bad but on top of that we had garbage piled up everywhere, the back yard was a wreck, and the place smelled like death.

 

It all started October 7^th the day the news reported that we were going in to another depression and how it was going to be the worst economy since the great depression. That whole day we had clients coming in and telling us that they were afraid of their jobs and how it was the end of the world. They would tell us that they were going to have to push out their appointments and they cannot get color anymore or they were going to do their color at home because of budget cuts.

 

I don’t blame my clients for this paranoia at all; it got really scary and it is still scary. I do blame however the media. I find it Ironic that Oprah Winfrey the person who 3 months earlier was selling the book and the movie the secret, getting everyone to believe in the positive and to “Not Worry” because “If you worry about something you put it out into the universe and you attract what you don’t want to you.” She was saying how “In these hard economic times you should cut back on going to the salon.”$? What the FU&* did I or any hairdresser to piss of Oprah? She just sold terror to my client and tried to kill my business. Would that make Oprah a Terrorist? I know people are going to come and take me away for that comment but I feel that she owes America an apology for being a “Tool”. Selling something she doesn’t even practice, or believe in. Does she still get her hair done?????

 

Anyhow, 8:00 rolls around and DeAnn gets a message from our Tennant lets call her “M”. I need to talk to you please call me back. Well it was a tough day at the salon all we wanted to do was have a drink and relax a little. So Deannalyn calls “M” and at the same time I happened to be checking the mail. In the mailbox was “M’s” rent 7 days late and a hand scribbled note on a cocktail napkin with misspellings (Now I cant spell, so when I notice the misspellings it is pretty bad.) The note said something like “I plan on moving out on like the 2^nd or 3^rd of December.” Now her Rental agreement with DeAnnalyn and Myself was until March 1, 09, second of all how is that a 30 day notice? It was 26 days and it didn’t give an exact date of move out. So we had no idea when she planned on moving out.

 

DeAnnalyn and I have always tried to be good people, we try to do right, we are not greedy, we are honest, and hard working. DeAnnaly has a touch of empathy that is second to none. She will give you anything you need if you need help, DeAnnalyn is a Superhero, she makes Mother Teresa look like a greedy Bi&*%. So when “M” moved in she was kind of strapped for cash, she was getting a divorce, and so DeAnn did not charge her any deposits. Also we barely broke even on the rent because she was a single mom taking care of her 2 kids? and her mom, so we cut her a deal.

 

Well because of all the deals there was nothing in our savings to pay for the mortgage and because of no deposit we were going to be screwed if there was anything wrong with the house. Also who was going to rent a house in the worst economic time, in the holiday season.

 

Tuesday’s birthday happens to fall on the 28^th of October; luckily enough DeAnnalyn bought her a Laptop computer in June from a friend of ours. Because we were broke. We had our Home mortgage, the rental mortgage, and every one was canceling or rescheduling their appointments because of the Economy. For the first time since I opened my salon I was truly scared of what was going to happen.

 

“Tune in next week, when things get worse.”

 

Ryan Teal

Capello Salon

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Part 2 c

 

“What the hell did you just say?” Tuesday says as we step off the back stage steps.

“I gotta……”

“You are such a dork” she interrupts and punches me square in the stomach.

 

You would think that if you are a winner you would be able to use the restrooms before going to an interview. Well no, we are whisked to some other room and they ask us how do you feel? I decided not to answer many questions for fear of retribution from my 15 year old.

About 5 min. later we are let go and I can finally use the restrooms and who do I run into but Robert.

“Hey, Congratulations” He says. (It kind of reminded me of that old Pepsi commercial were the football player just gets done winning the super bowl and some kid runs up and the player hands him his jersey. However I feel like I am the little kid and Robert Lobetta is the football player.”

 

I run back into the theater to see the very last words from Charlie Price who was named Hair Dresser of the year and cheer my A*&. Off. I mean come on the guy is talented he was on that Shear Genius TV show, but above that he can really do hair. Just than I am swept away by what seemed like the tornado from the Wizard of Oz. In the haze BABAK and I take some pictures. Come to find out two of the most talent Women  in hairdressing (aside from my wife DeAnnalyn), Ruth Roche, and Vivienne Mackinder Grab us and pose. I don’t remember that part so much but I do remember Tuesday crying with excitement that she got to have her picture taken with Vivienne.

 

I don’t remember getting to the bar. For that matter I don’t remember the bar very much at all. Some clips I do remember are someone mistaking Errienne our model as DeAnnalyn and asking me and her how long we have been together. I remember talking to Charlie Price and him telling me that we have a good since of taste, which is a huge complement,(especially when I was star struck and just wanted to bitch about the fact that the TV show he was on made him do dog hair.) I also remember Kim and Errienne dancing on the cocktail table and it seeming like some Snoop Dog video. When we finally got to our room Tuesday was sound asleep holding the Trophy. That almost mad me cry.

 

The Next Morning

 

Luckily DeAnnalyn and I have been doing hair shows for so long that we are old pros., At not eating, drinking too much, and getting up early the next morning and putting on our best face. Because the next morning bright and early was a press conference which I think rather well.

 

The rest of the day we spent at the hair show that was attached to the award ceremony. When we got in, the first both we went to was the behindthechair.com booth. Which was nice because they screamed from across the room and gave us big hugs and congratulated us. That was nice I have always liked their website. The down side is that they were the last people to recognize us. The entire weekend, we walked all over the show just hoping someone would recognize and nothing. We finally realized that everyone there were business people and they did not seem to be interested in the hairdresser so much as fulfilling the order from a hair product distributor.

 

In fact as we were leaving we ran into a booth of a manufacture that is owned by two brothers, I recognized them right away. DeAnnalyn on the other hand confused one of them with Albie Mulcahey, who was one of the first people DeAnnalyn ever did a show with, and we still have followed his career for ever. So, I am walking by and DeAnnalyn runs up to this gentleman that has never met her before, while he is in a meeting to sell his products to a distributor and gives him a big hug. The look on his face was priceless. At first I just thought D was just excited to see these two hair dressers than I realize that she is sharing stories that was when she worked with Albie, and how he inspired her to start doing stage work.

 

Luckily she didn’t mention any names so I jumped in to save her and start recounting stories of when we met these two to gentlemen. I also see out of the corner of my eye that they instructed one of their staff to buffer them from these crazy people. They politely set up a meeting that they impolitely were 2 hour late to and proceeded to blow us off. That was the beginining of the come down, of the high we were on.

 

Home

 

The first thing I notice the day we arrive home is our front door is decorated with glitter and stars. Which was I am sure a great feet because we have a 200 pound Neapolitan Mastiff, and I am sure he was not the most hospitable when someone was decorating our front door next to our front bay window. I later spoke to my friend Mark Putnam who did the decorating and he said he was scared SH&*less.  Also when I checked my email I had close to 400 emails half of which were people wanting a job, from the newly crowned Salon Team of the year.

 

For those of you who have not been to our salon it is approximately 700 sq ft. in a tiny town outside of Portland. I had so many people asking for a jib I actually became kind of cranky. I told one kid that if he could find my salon without using map quest I would hire him. Needless to say he does not work for me. I imagine he got lost on his way here.

 

So 9:00 am Wednesday morning we get to work and my first client is a cute little girl that I have cut her Moms hair for years and she just didn’t want a haircut at all. He cried and spit at me in fact at on time she tried to bite me. I just remember thinking

 

 “Wow, I am a North American Salon Team of the Year Award Winner!”

 

 

End of Part 2

 

Tune in next week when you hear Ryan say” My God…What is that smell…It smells like…”

 

 

 

 

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Part 2 b

“That the people who win really deserve to win, and a lot of times the people who loose really deserve to loose…” Wait a minute what was he trying to say. Was he telling me that he was one of the judges, and he thought my stuff deserved to loose. I really was freaking out at this point so I decide to use my skills of conversation manipulation and steer the conversation slightly away from how bad my stuff is and point it in more of a carefree direction.

“Yeah…hahaha, well I have decided to not drink at all tomorrow just incase I have to give an acceptance speech.” I said.

“Oh I wouldn’t do that” he said, “I would drink as much as you can because if you loose, you will be half way there.”

Oh SH*& Robert Lobetta is telling me that I am going to loose and that I need to drink.

Needles to say getting to sleep was tough.

NAHA Award Ceremony day

Nothing super eventful happened; we decided to go shopping at Caesar’s just to get our mind off the evening. Our daughter Tuesday lucked out we ended up dropping some cash at MAC. I do remember meeting my Mom and Mike at “Planet Hollywood” I don’t remember what we ordered but I do remember listening to Robert and drinking a little.

An hour before the cocktail party after everyone left our room to let us change. DeAnnalyn and I decided to just blow it all off. We decided to just let Tuesday go down and she could sit their and if we happen to win she could go accept the award. However according to Mr. Lobetta there is not much of a risk of us winning anything.

Here We Go

So we get down to the pre-party a little late for food, plus being a vegetarian you learn that it is safer to drink your dinner anyway. Also being not good at parties I had to accept the drinks people kept buying me, and buying, and buying. About two hours later DeAnn decides it is time to go find our seats.

Now an hour or two before the party we were instructed by the organizers that we could not get out of our seats for any reason. So I reminded myself to go use the restroom just in case.

On the way out of the restroom who do I run into but Robert, “Have you been drinking?”.

“Yeah” I said.

“Good Man”

Wow, I Suck I have 12 people coming from all over the country and I am going to loose so badly.

So I find my seat in the Fashion Forward Category and I meet Lucie Doughty friend whom I can not remember her name, and she offers me a drink.

“Oh, I better not” I say, “We have a long way to go.

The show starts and they announce the first categorize. Hair Color, John Simpson wins he gets up and says a nice acceptance speech. The announcer comes out, says a bunch of stuff and starts to announce the next category, Fashion Forward.

Oh Sh*&, Here it comes.

They go through the names of finalists and the WINNER IS……………Maureen Anlauf.

Good for her she had beautiful pictures. However I am a looser, I am going home empty handed. Kevin my friend is going to have to carry me out of here.

“Hey Lucie” I said. “Race you to the bottom of the bottle of Champagne”.

Well the show starts running a little long about 45 min late by my calculations. Finally they get to Lifetime Achievement. Martin Parsons is one of my biggest influences. He is a hairdresser. They announce his name he comes up and begins his speech “Back in 19—I was born.” No joke one hour later he is still talking, I think at one time they turned the music up to cut him off and he started dancing to it. I think I saw a big hook come from back stage to try and carry him off stage. (You know what though; it was a life time of achievements he deserved all of the time he took. There were people booing and I find that quite rude.)

At this time I have been consuming quite a bit of Champaign and I kind of have to get to the restroom, damn this tiny bladder. Victoria Jackson the MC comes back out and announces the next presenters for the category of Salon Team.

Oh Sh*&, Here it comes, again. I think I might throw up…. Or pee myself.

The Finalists are……….. And the Winner is….. Capello Salon.

What, wait a minute we won? Oh my god. DeAnnalyn stands up and screams like she just saw a mouse wearing a wig. (That is a different story). Tuesday catches up with us and gives us a big hug. All three of us start walking up stage when I start thinking two things 1. We have all been here a long time and we are all tired we need to keep it short, and

2. I have been drinking a little bit.

So I walk up behind DeAnn and say you take it. Which she does well she thanks our family, our friends, and the crew of the shoot she also makes up some people that we don’t know and thanks them as well. As soon as she is done Tuesday steps up to the mike and asks everyone to squeeze together so she can get a mental picture of the whole event. Than they both look at me like I am supposed to say something.

“THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I GOTTA PEE”.

To be continued…

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